Through a light, darkly

Butterfly LanternSpeaking of decorative lamps (that is, lamps with a main purpose that has more to do with aesthetics than illumination), I offer Hisae Homma and Philip Lewis' spinning rice paper lanterns. I picked mine up at Autumn Cottage Home Furnishings in the Mall of America circa 1998.

I dare you to find a lamp more unique and adorable (or less functional) than this one. The first thing that may strike you about these lamps is their simple, handmade design employing only rice paper, construction paper, cellophane, wood, a small light bulb the size of a Christmas tree bulb, and the required electrical parts. Heat from the bulb rises to spin the windmill attached to the inner cylinder, projecting moving images on the outer rice paper walls (and onto the walls of your room as it spins in the dark). Mine has jumping cats on it that are chasing a ball. It's so cute that I could eat it.


Jumping Cat PatternWhat occurred to me that day in Minneapolis as I examined the lamp's seemingly simple construction was that I could probably build such a thing myself. I'm glad I decided to buy it though, because the rolls of rice paper and cellophane procured for this project are still stored under my bed, having survived four moves.


Dinosaur LanternMy infatuation with this lamp only grew when I saw it featured (jumping cats and all) on one of the final episodes of "Six Feet Under" in Maya's bedroom. The only other time I've seen something of mine on TV was in 1988 when I saw Erica Ehm on MuchMusic wearing an oversized hooded sweater like one I had bought at Le Chateau. As you can see, I'm still talking about it.

Dent in your wallet:
US 79.99 plus shipping

Ideal for:
baby shower; children's room; the young at heart.

Look for it at:
www.whippoorwillcrafts.com

Seasoning 101

Okay. Some of you will snicker. Others will roll their eyes.

It's because the featured item in this latest blog installment -- well, let's just say I fully expect to get called out for my "gourmunk" wannabe snobbiness.

But, hey, it's not like I'm talking about ridiculous $2 a gram Quebec foie gras, or even ridiculous-er $7 a gram white truffles from the Piedmont region of Italy. I mean, really! Who do you think I am?? (I'll be covering those items in future blogs.)

With today's particular item, I just really feel a need to extoll the virtues of this often pooh-poohed necessity in culinary preparation. I'm speaking of the prevalent kitchen staple: Salt.

When stocking a kitchen with the basics, the standard grocery shopping protocol usually calls for the requisite box of Windsor or Sifto brand table salt. Ho hum. Sure, that's fine and dandy. For a 50's diner maybe.

But we're in the uber-cosmopolitan 00's now, and to help elicit the maximum flavour from our foods, you have choices in your seasoning. You do NOT have to be a slave to the everyday, iodized supermarket variety salts. Free yourselves, y'all.

"But, Benjie, please get your ass off that high horse for a sec....we're talking about salt here, buddy boy! Salty is salty. Get a grip, yo!"

Fine, okay, I'll give you that: Salty is salty. But soy sauce is salty. And so is oyster sauce. But they certainly don't taste the same. And not all types of salt taste the same either. True, it's more subtle than the differences between soy sauce and oyster sauce. And true, I've made friends take the "Pepsi challenge" with a few varieties of cooking salts, resulting in some of them being unable to discern much between the types. (Philistine palettes if you ask me...hmph!)

But seriously, it you don't experiment yourself, then you'll have to take my word for it that, when cooking, different salts bring out the flavours of dishes in differing ways. Some punch up flavours by brightening them up (e.g. grey sea salt on roasted winter vegetables). While others coax out flavours in less aggressive ways (e.g. Hawaiian red salt in melted dark chocolate).

And although my roommate will swear by his oh so vairy Frainche "Fleur de Sel" from the marshy bogs of Camargue, France (and don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful salt), if I had to plunk down my cash for one tried-and-true, go-to salt to use when I'm dicking around my kitchen, then that cooking salt would have to be the reputable Maldon Sea Salt. Large, flaky crystals. Quality so refined from sea waters that - as they say - just a little does go a long way. Just feel those granules crumble between your fingers as you scatter them over the freshest of your ingredients...ahh, it's food porn at its most raunchy! (Yes, my apologies for that.)



But with glorious Maldon salt (along with perhaps four-plus years at a top culinary school) you'll finally be able to release your inner chef. Serving up meals with flavours you never dreamt possible in your lifetime. Angels will sing on high and doves will flock together with olive twigs in their beaks. Okay, fine, it's probably not quite the manna from heaven I'm hyping it up to be, but it's damn good stuff to season your cooking with.



But just one snobby cooking tip, if I may: When seasoning your dishes as you cook, do yourself a favour and add the salt by hand (as opposed to shaking it from a container). With just a little practice, the tactile experience will give you a much better feel for how much salt you should add to your culinary masterworks. Seriously. For real.


Dent in your wallet:
around $8-$10 for a 240g box
(yeah, I know, but it'll last you a long time!)

Ideal for:
poseur chefs; real actual chefs

Look for it at:
most schmancy food shoppes frequented by gourmands (such as Cheese Boutique or the St. Lawrence Market in T.O., probably Le Faubourg in Montreal)

Star Light, Star (Not Too) Bright

It's not like I consider myself much of an interior decorator. I suppose, if push came to shove, I could possibly make a room feel habitable, maybe even inviting. Frankly, it hasn't been much of an issue yet in my life since I've yet to purchase my own house or condo or double-wide trailer.

And I don't consider a rented domicile as something to spend my time or money perfecting aesthetically. Sure, I'll make it homey-looking, but I'm not about to start pulling out paint chips and antiquing catalogues.

But I know what I like when I see it. Usually. I mean, I do know what is considered gaudy or tacky. Example: Growing up, our family had a felt wall-hanging that depicted a pack of curiously dextrous dogs playing a lively game of snooker. This highly implausible canine scenario hung over our family's own pool table. This, my friends, was TACKY. (Yet still somehow appropriate.)

There is a piece of room decor which I now own that I treasure and is something I received as a gift nearly a decade ago. In fact, it was such a popular item among the three female friends who gave it to me, that they just had to buy the same thing for each other's birthdays that year.

So what awesome household ornamentation could inspire such buying behaviour among friends, you ask? (And not merely being ornamental but functional too?!) A lamp!

Not just any ordinary lamp, no sir-ee. It is an authentic Mexican aged tin 12-pointed star lamp. Just don't be hoodwinked by one of those Pier 1 Import aluminum knock-offs. If yours doesn't say "Hecho en Mexico", then a ball-peen hammer in the little hands of a child from some other far away country is responsible for your inferior model.



These Mexican paragons are designed with just enough intricate artisan skill to not look like random tchotchkes from Guadalajara, and will easily find a home suspended in almost any modern dwelling. But perhaps I was overselling it a wee bit when I was touting its functionality. It doesn't pump out a whole lot of illumination (with all that metal encasing the bulb and all). Certainly not enough to read or perform any suturing by. But if you're looking for some subtle hanky-panky mood lighting or an oversized night light for a little tyke's bedroom, this light's for you!

We found ours in a modest Mexican import shop on rue Saint-Denis in Montreal, circa 1998 (so whether the store is still there is questionable). It's quite possible you may now find authentic ones available at certain home furnishing boutiques as well, but probably at a premium. I also found an online U.S. retailer (funnily enough called "Direct from Mexico") that ships worldwide. Of course, there's always the absolute final resort of planning a Mexican getaway for the express purpose of picking up one these down there - at a bargainable super discount, no doubt.


Dent in your wallet:
US $87.60 plus shipping
or
a plane ticket to Mexico plus a few pesos

Ideal for:
those looking to add a quick touch of quasi-cultural flair to a room; (big) kids afraid of the dark in the middle of the night; good friends seeking a common gift to keep them bonded no matter how far they drift apart (awwwwwwwww.....!)

Look for it at:
www.directfrommexico.com

Merde, il pleut!

When it comes to choosing a rain-deflecting device, I am a big fan of the classic, full-size umbrella. None of those cute compact or ultra-mini parapluies for me. Sure, the classic model isn't the most convenient accessory to tote around. But it sure is darn classy-looking. Très sophistiqué, non? And it also doubles as a fancy walking cane (when not in primary function mode). Plus, I figure it could act as a makeshift beat-down stick to thwart off would-be muggers (though I've yet to test it for this purpose, so I make no promises).

But I think the ultimate benefit of the full-sized classic is the friendly or even romantic encounters it may lead to. What sort of possibilities do I speak of? Well, imagine the heavens are pouring down with a vengeance, and you cruise up to a street corner only to happen upon a poor sap getting absolutely doused, waiting to cross the street next to you. However, with the extra refuge afforded by your oversized parasol, you are in prime position to offer some much-appreciated reprieve from the drenching onslaught. See what I'm getting at? So now imagine if the poor sap was instead a very grateful lovely lady or hunky dude. Voilà! You are the knight/knightress(?) with drying armour! Go get'em, tiger!

But hey, while you're now swaggering down the sidewalk with your rain-deflecting mate magnet, why not make it an even more attractive piece of bait (y'know, in a peacock tail sort of way) by choosing one with eye-catching colour AND a clever, foreign-language phrase printed right on it! This sexy combination is sure to turn (some) heads.



To accomplish this, I highly recommend the bold-coloured series of "MERDE IL PLEUT" umbrellas. Myself, I have the canary yellow model, although other great colours can also be had. Of course, the true lure of this magic stick is the cheeky phrase that will speak volumes about your own witty and worldly renaissance personality, and almost guarantees to attract only the more discriminating, hoity segments of the population.



I picked mine up in Montréal at a small luggage & accessory shop on St. Laurent street. But I've since found their availability online as well. What great news for all you would-be 'brella-wielding wooers!

Dent in your pay cheque:
$45

Ideal for:
guys or gals seeking extra attention on soggy streets; rainy day romantic hopefuls; a practical novelty gift for conservative parents who don't speak a lick of French

Look for it at:
www.raindropsto.com

First...Entry...EVER.

Long time lurker, first time blogger.

Too true. Call me timid, call me self-conscious, call me a creepy Internet loiterer - but for whatever reason, this is the very first time I'm actually contributing an entry to any sort of blog or online forum or chat room whatchamacallit. Really. Scout's honour. Never have I felt the need to publicly comment, query or criticize any topic I've come across in the past on these glorious Internets, much less have the urge to start up a whatchamacallit of my own (gasp!)

But - TODAY, THIS ALL CHANGES. (How liberating typing that statement felt!)

And while I'm far from being a newbie to the online community, I slouch here before you, a self-professed virgin to the two-way street of it all. So be gentle with this first timer! Or not.

But what better foray into my WWW interactive experience than a celebration of the oh-so-fun, indulgent world of consumerist want! With this blog, I present all of us with a guiltless opportunity to share with one another the goods and services we get most giddy about. Be it what you have bought for yourself or for others, please share with us, won't you?

Henceforth, this will be our community blog. Kind of like our own secret society I suppose. Like the Freemasons. Or the Stonecutters. But without the animal sacrifices. So have at it, good people! With reckless abandon, share up those stories about your materialistic bliss!